GROWING PAINS: Be careful what you ask for!

“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?”  – John Keats

I am working with an intelligent, ambitious, and highly qualified client – a gifted and trail-blazing doctor who wants to transition from being an employee to being an independent contractor. His journey into self-employment has been slow, as his knee-jerk reaction to change is to take risks at a snails pace, struggling with making a final decision. He is a “mediator type”, which means he will err on the side of “wait and see”. That’s all fine and good, except when engaging in a 180 degree life-changing transition. Bottom line, he needs to say YES or NO to this process. At that point, a coach/expert like me can work with him with success. Before that point, indecision creates too much of a murky and ambiguous environment to guide him forward.

Does this sound familiar? It has certainly sounded familiar to me…

Whether we are making personal or professional decisions, most of us get stuck. Getting stuck can resemble questions without answers, like an endless tape in our minds that won’t shut off. Some common questions are:

• What do I want to be when I “grow up” and how can I make that happen?
• Would my life be better off if I shift from X to Y… or would it be worse long-term?
• What levels of risk are acceptable and/or unacceptable?
• What are potential rewards and/or consequences of this transition?
• What am I willing to do to create that which I wish to create?
• What resources do I have (time, money, sweat equity, support, talents, skills)?
• Do I have what it takes to live with the uncomfortable growing pains during the process?
• Should I stay or should I go?

Once these questions are answered, people have a better chance of taking action and making something extraordinary happen. When these questions stay in the loop of the mind, we are like rats running on perpetual wheels, investing energy but living on the road to nowhere. My primary job as a coach is to help create positive forward momentum for my clients. What that looks like is as unique as each situation demands. However, the commonality I continue to witness in regards to getting stuck makes me groan out loud. Life is ALREADY filled with a lot of gray areas, so the choices that we DO have need to be taken, either way. This is the sign of a mature life fully lived; otherwise we are like walking, talking metaphors for checking out and settling for mediocrity. Have we forgotten that we are here on Earth for a reason? What is our special purpose?

At the center of this ambiguous reluctance to jump into the abyss of the unknown… is FEAR. Yep, good old-fashioned fear. Rarely do clients admit this openly, but it is quickly apparent from where I’m sitting. I offer my mantra (inspired by Susan Jeffers): Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. That seems to help at first. Then when the transition process steps up to a new level, I notice clients getting VERY stuck, and I’ll sense something even heavier than fear. So I ask: what is REALLY holding us back?

And this is what I have discovered in about 90% of the people and companies I work with: human beings are NOT exactly willing to feel uncomfortable in order to shift something and get what they want. Period. Instead, we continue to engage in the definition of insanity and go about our business with our status quo mentalities, while expecting a different outcome. We really can be morons sometimes no matter how good our intentions are (lol!). In “coach speak”, what REALLY gets us stuck is that us human beings just can’t be bothered to put in the effort and walk the talk, to be uncomfortable, to live gracefully through the process of change. It’s just too darn hard. We give up, and we remain loyal (and addicted) to “reality is how we do things around here” because we are not willing to live with the growing pains. Somewhere in our cultures, we were taught that life should be easier or that we can avoid growing pains. Sure we know this is not true intellectually, but in practice, we seem to react like children when it comes to life’s demands on our efforts. We cry, we complain, we rationalize, we blame, we avoid, we pound our fists in the air, and we give up way way way too easily.

Personally, I could easily picture life sitting on a beach, boogie boarding, reading, swimming, watching bands play music, and cooking the days away… And yet, I get it that life is hard and demands great effort, too. Therefore, when life gets tough (I mean really tough), I fully feel the pain AND I move forward in spite of my trepidation. I act as if. This is key to many success stories – fully acknowledging that growth is painful, fully feeling the fear, fully doing it anyway, and fully acting as if. Either way, we need to make a choice to stay or go, to hang out in the muck of limbo or move forward with a smile on our lips.

Living a “100% Life” is not for everyone, however. It is the Road Less Traveled, indeed. An “80% Life” is pretty darn good actually, but for some people it is not enough. Our vision includes the desire to offer (extraordinary) contributions to the earth. And to those inspiring souls, I dedicate this article. Thank you for your efforts. To the rest, if you want something to improve and you are no longer willing to be stuck, then please learn to say YES to a little (or a lot of!) discomfort. You will be amazed by how quickly your lives can positively change. The world needs your energy, large and small – it’s time to make a difference and shine, however that looks like for you, your families, your teams, your companies, your communities, your planet.

By the way, my “mediator” doctor client made the final decision to become self-employed, gave up a very lucrative offer for an employee position, and is on his way towards professional independence. I couldn’t be prouder. He has chosen his version of a 100% Life. Ready to join him?

Just saying…

For more info: www.VeloCityCoachingServices.com

Advanced Sales 101: “GOING FOR THE NO” Knowing When to Walk Away Increases Revenue (… and Inner Confidence)

“You must be fully prepared to lose a great deal in order to make a great deal.”    – Unknown

 

Either through spending more efficient time with prospects or finessing the sale (through all avenues known to humankind of getting the holy yes), the fine Art of Closing would not be complete without knowing when to go for the final-final sh*t-or-get-off-the-pot moment during negotiations. My sister, a great sales coach, calls it Going For The No.

It is scary to do. Mostly because we don’t always know if we can trust our own internal timing and tempo. Maybe we mis-judge a prospect’s comments about money, and bring up the subject too soon (or too late!) for their liking. These are the tiny-random things that unfortunately orchestrate many make it or break it moments in the sales life cycle. Closing with a Going For The No approach works, sometimes more than other techniques. And here is, I think, why…

During the point when your instinct knows it is time to Go For The No, you have most likely already spent a substantial amount of time with the prospect. No doubt, you have already offered free stuff, free time, free advice in one form or another. By the time your gut says go for it, the prospect will probably be more approachable because s/he knows that you (your services / products) are of value, and you have therefore earned the right to play a little hardball.

The entire vetting process for the prospecting life cycle needs to be seriously analyzed and handled with alert observation. This is the MOST important time. Not only because, as Frank Herbert, author of the Dune series, said: “Beginnings are such delicate moments,” but also because mistakes at the front-end of any endeavor are usually not fixable further down the line. The process of beginnings: of gathering the correct information, at the right place and time, with the best people, with all the tools needed to do the job right first time around… is where  sales professionals can save a lot of time and resources right now. The first moments when your gut knows this is a dead-end street, make a swifter choice to walk away sooner than later. Go For The No before walking out the door, just to be sure, but yep, decide to walk away.

Overall revenue can increase if we do two things: decrease costs, increase sales. So, think about the hours you have wasted not closing a sale, when you knew on some gut level that this prospect was a bit off or problematic … if you had walked away sooner than later, you would have been free to continue filling and maintaining your more valuable pipelines. Your time becomes more effective, as your pipelines lead you to prospects that are HOT rather than just WARM. You get the picture, right? And at the end of the sales life cycle, Going For The No before walking away offers the prospect a chance to jump in and spend the money, because they like you and they like what you are selling. Starting today. I read an article that stated approximately 32% of the prospects in their study said Yes when the sales pro Went For The No before walking away. This doesn’t prove anything, but it is certainly food for thought.

The courage to Go For The No, and the finesse needed to pull it off are maybe lacking in each of us. But it is possible. My heart pounds way faster when I am doing it, and I feel the testosterone in my body pumping through the veins as I play hardball with a touch of humor, adding facts and figures if needed… whatever it takes.

• And sometimes, I say to them: This is what’s called: Going For The No in sales, Mr/Ms Prospect, so I would like to know if you are, indeed, interested in moving forward with the project?
• Or I might try something like: Based on (X number of hours) of work with me on this project, would your answer today be a yes or would your answer today be a no?

Very often, you will see how much they actually do value you and might be inclined to close the deal. Try it. It has worked for many.

As we all know about negotiations – having absolutely nothing to lose puts one in the highest position of power. Going For The No and knowing when to walk away also create a level of inner confidence and ease that nudge prospects towards trusting you. More yes moments come from it. Note: if you are uncomfortable saying No in your life, in general, then you might be more challenged doing this in your sales / prospecting job. So, learn how to say No, too.

Another, more politically incorrect way to say all this is simply: don’t let anyone dick you around. In the end, you have a great service or product they want. Going For The No when you are finally done going back and forth, lets your prospect know where you stand. It shows a solid backbone, too. Be willing to walk away and move on. With or without them. Professionally and diplomatically state the truth about this, and then onwards. You don’t need to be around business people who (consciously or unconsciously) suck time and energy out of your precious work life, no matter how impressive their suits and credentials are.

Spend more time with prospects whose voices brighten up when they talk to you, then watch your revenue (and inner confidence) grow.

For more info, please visit: www.VeloCityCoachingServices.com

ACCELERATED DECISION-MAKING: Warriors, Magicians, Lovers & Kings

“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.”

- Will Rogers

The Warrior, Magician, Lover and King / Queen is a wise Internal Team (Jungian Archetypes) for understanding not only how our tendencies might contribute to us feeling out of balance, but also for understanding how we can make wiser decisions.

The observation that Jung made about human beings, is that there is an Instinctive Wisdom and Truth inside of us, which simply needs to have the opportunity to come out and play. Our fears, (false) interpretations, (false) assumptions and behavior / mind-set addictions (Comfort Zones) can get in the way and create roadblocks for getting what we want.

The key is to ask your Team a clearly thought-out question, and then close your eyes and see what they want to (and have been waiting to) tell you about the situation. After the Warrior, Magician and Lover give you all the information you need, then the King can step in and make the wisest, most appropriate decision. The King (almost) always knows what The Truth is for you.

The Warrior: represents a powerful reaction to situations / takes action

The Magician: represents a creative reaction to situations / offers limitless possibilities

The Lover: represents a connected reaction to situations / shows caring and support

The King: takes into consideration all of the advice and suggestions from the Warrior, the Magician and the Lover, and then simply knows what is so for you. And then, the wisest, best and most appropriate decision about your situation is made.  Here are a few examples of recent Clients’ Questions of the Day:

• How can I handle change more gracefully and with less stress?
• What is the best course of action in regards to my job / company / career / finances?
• What is the most fulfilling and secure career path for me starting today?
• How do I connect more to people, possibilities and ideas for the future?
• What am I going to do the next time a “difficult person” crosses my path and how am I going to handle the situation differently?
• What are my passions and how can I make them a livelihood?
• What do we (my wife / my partner / my husband… and I) need to do, in order to find agreement about the future of our family?
• What would life look like, if I cut myself some slack and slowed down?
• How can I get some help to lighten my load and create new choices?

So the next time… you are mulling something around in your gray matter for awhile, you are probably not listening to what your inner wisdom already knows and wants to tell you. Listen. Take the time and sit without a distraction for a few minutes. Listen. The answers are there.

For more information, please visit: www.VeloCityCoachingServices.com