LEADERSHIP & GENDER: Are Women and Men Equal From the Neck Up?

“We need not just a new generation of leadership, but a new gender of leadership.” 

- Bill Clinton

For most of my life, I have been deeply reluctant to publicly bring up the subject of gender, mostly due to an ingrained fear of ridicule and being labeled incorrectly. I had found myself using buffer words and over-the-top diplomacy when discussing this vital topic, this proverbial white elephant in board rooms. I almost always added that I am a feminist, egalitarian, man-loving person, so that the listeners (or readers) will exhale with relief. Thank goodness I am not one of THOSE kinds of feminists, they secretly think. Heck, I don’t even like using the word feminist most of the time, as if the word itself diminishes my credibility as someone with something to contribute.

These thoughts and internal edits are death to an effective leader.

I will never forget the first time I conducted a Leadership for Women seminar. I had never before considered that the core skills of leadership would be any different for a man than for a woman. The words of my intense, egalitarian father stayed in my mind: “Men and women are equal from the neck up.” And I believed him. Even today, I struggle with seeing any difference due to the fact that my definition of a solid leader is inspired by the work of Tony Robbins. He shows leadership as engaging in three steps:

• First, see the situation for what it really it – not worse or better.
• Then, imagine the situation better than it is right now.
• Finally, take action and improve the situation.

I was not convinced that a man or a woman would understand these three steps any differently, and therefore had not separated the content of my leadership trainings regarding gender. And then one day… I noticed that the natural talent I have as a leader (I am genetically wired this way, ask anyone who has known me since birth) was not shared by many women I have worked with and known. I noticed the language, body posture, internal dialogues, apologetic approach, and tempo differences – among many other observations – that got in their way. So, I decided to offer specific leadership trainings for women.

I noticed cliches that we have all been fed rang true for many women leaders: fear of losing our femininity and ability to be vulnerable, fear of being labeled as a man-hater if we bring up issues that reek of gender discrimination, fear of confrontation with male bullies, fear of becoming a ‘bitch-leader’, fear of making mistakes and our gender being blamed for these failures, fear of having to work with and lead our least favorite demographic – arrogant white men over 50… all played a role in why many women have not yet taken their rightful place in leadership.

Most of my career has been spent with men, and I continue to sincerely love working with groups of men – engineers, CEOs, entrepreneurs, laborers, professionals, executives, writers, artists, financiers, IT geeks, and cooks. I love the atmosphere of manufacturing, of materials being produced, of cars, of machines, of operations, of numbers, and of ideas being put into solid action. The business world is dominated by men, the world of coaching and training is dominated by men, the media is dominated by men, the planet is dominated by men… so I decided very early on not to make my gender an issue. I ignored, rationalized, dismissed, and avoided this imbalance… until recently. Until I decided to offer leadership trainings specifically dealing with women’s unique issues and imbalances that prevent us from reaching our potentials.

The statistics are out: enterprises that are run by women, that have a balanced gender ratio, that are influenced by female leaders… are doing very well, in many cases better than the status quo. I am convinced that diversity in the workplace is a significant factor in successful companies and organizations – and among other categories such as race, age, social background, personality traits, and creed, mixed gender groups are indeed more successful. Ok, if these stats continue to become public knowledge, then why is gender still an issue regarding leadership? Does the planet need another 5000 years to get it? Will my best friend’s daughter grow up with the same cliches that I grew up with? Will the backlash discussed in Susan Faludi’s prize-winning book remain in place, further building up the glass ceiling most women face on a daily basis? She wrote: “Far from being ‘liberated,’ American women in the 1980s were victims of a powerful backlash against the handful of small, hard-won victories the feminist movement had achieved.” Here we are in 2011 and although the stats of female opportunities are slightly brighter, it is  shameful how much the gender issue is still a factor that prevents women towards leadership.

If men and women are equal from the neck up (metaphorically speaking), then why are women leaders still apologizing, buffer-wording, and putting up with all this nonsense? Even feeling compelled to write about this subject after almost 100 years of emancipation – since gaining the right to vote and the “women’s movement” of the 60’s and 70’s – feels, well, annoying. I imagine that people of color understand this and shake their heads in disbelief when the mainstream media continues to shred the first black US president with unapologetic bravado. Politics aside (I did not vote Republican or Democrat), there is a level of respect for the presidency that seems to have fallen through the cracks of our society. I was brought up to believe that anything is possible, that the US is a land of opportunity. My teachers and role-models forgot to include information about gender discrimination and its insidious nature. Race is being handled in a similar way it seems, but I digress.

When I spent many years in Japan, I experienced gender discrimination all the time. When I came back to the US, my expectations were that this nonsense would not be an issue. Here is what I discovered: it was more comfortable for me to see, feel, and hear the gender discrimination in Japan because it was not hidden. In the US where women supposedly have equal rights and opportunities, it has been much much worse because apparently we do have equal opportunity here… so what is MY problem? If you want to hear the stories, give me a call. For now, trust me when I say I have never experienced such deep-rooted gender discrimination than here in my own country. Perhaps this is because I am a leader, usually smarter than my clients (that’s why I get hired in the first place, right?!), and I don’t engage in an apologetic approach to leadership. I am diplomatic and appropriate, yes, AND I tell the truth and get results. That’s what a good coach does.

If I am wrong, so be it. Brain research is discovering neuro-scientific differences, hormonal variations, and other bio-chemical distinctions that show we are not actually equal from the neck up either. But as I said, this is a metaphor, and I have observed for almost three decades that leadership, for one thing, is a talent that both genders do terribly or successfully, depending on the leaders themselves and not on their gender (or race, creed, social background, education, etc).

Women I know, who are inclined towards leadership, are struggling. We share a common bond and silent understanding of the glass ceilings we face on a daily basis. And we are done. Perhaps for the first time in history, female leaders are starting to approach leadership WITHOUT an apology, and articles such as this one are going public, also without an apology (nor anger, blaming, or superiority). This is new, this is the gender revolution of the 21^st Century. Women such as global journalist Christianne Amanpour, online media mogul Ariana Huffington, and Secretaries of State Madeleine Albright and Hilary Clinton have made it easier for us.

Now, I and many others are expecting the moment when these extraordinary women do not get one single comment thrown at them regarding their clothes, bodies, husbands or hairstyles. Then, and only then, will we know that women leaders have taken their different but equal place at the dinner table of business, politics, and society. Until then, chin up. Don’t worry, there will be another moment of gender discrimination on your horizon when your leadership will be challenged because you wear a bra. These are priceless opportunities to continue on your paths and move forward, resolving to contribute as a solid leader, in spite of these obstacles. Keep on swimming… you are not alone.

PS: Emancipation is not a one-way street. To those of you who have engaged in gender discrimination or have been intimidated by extraordinary women leaders: you are missing out. We don’t want to take over, we are not engaging in superiority tactics… instead, we want to share our version of cooperation, inclusion, and diversity that are at the core of our unique leadership talents. Leadership is our right as human beings, too. Make an effort to let go of an imbalanced version of control and finally embrace that there are many ways to skin a cat. We need you, you need us, and we are in this leadership gig together.

GROWING PAINS: Be careful what you ask for!

“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?”  – John Keats

I am working with an intelligent, ambitious, and highly qualified client – a gifted and trail-blazing doctor who wants to transition from being an employee to being an independent contractor. His journey into self-employment has been slow, as his knee-jerk reaction to change is to take risks at a snails pace, struggling with making a final decision. He is a “mediator type”, which means he will err on the side of “wait and see”. That’s all fine and good, except when engaging in a 180 degree life-changing transition. Bottom line, he needs to say YES or NO to this process. At that point, a coach/expert like me can work with him with success. Before that point, indecision creates too much of a murky and ambiguous environment to guide him forward.

Does this sound familiar? It has certainly sounded familiar to me…

Whether we are making personal or professional decisions, most of us get stuck. Getting stuck can resemble questions without answers, like an endless tape in our minds that won’t shut off. Some common questions are:

• What do I want to be when I “grow up” and how can I make that happen?
• Would my life be better off if I shift from X to Y… or would it be worse long-term?
• What levels of risk are acceptable and/or unacceptable?
• What are potential rewards and/or consequences of this transition?
• What am I willing to do to create that which I wish to create?
• What resources do I have (time, money, sweat equity, support, talents, skills)?
• Do I have what it takes to live with the uncomfortable growing pains during the process?
• Should I stay or should I go?

Once these questions are answered, people have a better chance of taking action and making something extraordinary happen. When these questions stay in the loop of the mind, we are like rats running on perpetual wheels, investing energy but living on the road to nowhere. My primary job as a coach is to help create positive forward momentum for my clients. What that looks like is as unique as each situation demands. However, the commonality I continue to witness in regards to getting stuck makes me groan out loud. Life is ALREADY filled with a lot of gray areas, so the choices that we DO have need to be taken, either way. This is the sign of a mature life fully lived; otherwise we are like walking, talking metaphors for checking out and settling for mediocrity. Have we forgotten that we are here on Earth for a reason? What is our special purpose?

At the center of this ambiguous reluctance to jump into the abyss of the unknown… is FEAR. Yep, good old-fashioned fear. Rarely do clients admit this openly, but it is quickly apparent from where I’m sitting. I offer my mantra (inspired by Susan Jeffers): Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. That seems to help at first. Then when the transition process steps up to a new level, I notice clients getting VERY stuck, and I’ll sense something even heavier than fear. So I ask: what is REALLY holding us back?

And this is what I have discovered in about 90% of the people and companies I work with: human beings are NOT exactly willing to feel uncomfortable in order to shift something and get what they want. Period. Instead, we continue to engage in the definition of insanity and go about our business with our status quo mentalities, while expecting a different outcome. We really can be morons sometimes no matter how good our intentions are (lol!). In “coach speak”, what REALLY gets us stuck is that us human beings just can’t be bothered to put in the effort and walk the talk, to be uncomfortable, to live gracefully through the process of change. It’s just too darn hard. We give up, and we remain loyal (and addicted) to “reality is how we do things around here” because we are not willing to live with the growing pains. Somewhere in our cultures, we were taught that life should be easier or that we can avoid growing pains. Sure we know this is not true intellectually, but in practice, we seem to react like children when it comes to life’s demands on our efforts. We cry, we complain, we rationalize, we blame, we avoid, we pound our fists in the air, and we give up way way way too easily.

Personally, I could easily picture life sitting on a beach, boogie boarding, reading, swimming, watching bands play music, and cooking the days away… And yet, I get it that life is hard and demands great effort, too. Therefore, when life gets tough (I mean really tough), I fully feel the pain AND I move forward in spite of my trepidation. I act as if. This is key to many success stories – fully acknowledging that growth is painful, fully feeling the fear, fully doing it anyway, and fully acting as if. Either way, we need to make a choice to stay or go, to hang out in the muck of limbo or move forward with a smile on our lips.

Living a “100% Life” is not for everyone, however. It is the Road Less Traveled, indeed. An “80% Life” is pretty darn good actually, but for some people it is not enough. Our vision includes the desire to offer (extraordinary) contributions to the earth. And to those inspiring souls, I dedicate this article. Thank you for your efforts. To the rest, if you want something to improve and you are no longer willing to be stuck, then please learn to say YES to a little (or a lot of!) discomfort. You will be amazed by how quickly your lives can positively change. The world needs your energy, large and small – it’s time to make a difference and shine, however that looks like for you, your families, your teams, your companies, your communities, your planet.

By the way, my “mediator” doctor client made the final decision to become self-employed, gave up a very lucrative offer for an employee position, and is on his way towards professional independence. I couldn’t be prouder. He has chosen his version of a 100% Life. Ready to join him?

Just saying…

For more info: www.VeloCityCoachingServices.com

The Generation Gap is Closing as “NEOs” Embrace Change

“We’re the middle children of history…. no purpose or place.  We have no Great War, no Great Depression.  Our great war is a spiritual war.  Our great depression is our lives.”

- From the film, Fight Club, about Generation X

First, some data (reference: Generations, Inc: From Boomers to Linksters — Managing the Friction Between Generations at Work, Amacom, 2010):

• Traditional Generation / Pre-Boomers – Born pre-1945; 8% of workforce
• Baby Boomers – Born 1946-1964; 30% of workforce
• Generation X – Born 1965-1980; 17% of workforce
• Generation Y – Born 1981-1995; 25% of workforce
• Linkster Generation / Millenials – Born after 1995; 18% of workforce
• Baby Boomers over 50 crave developmental support from supervisors, but don’t get as much support as their younger peers.
• Gen Xers are consistently voted the best managers.
• Generation Y employees are less apt to job hop than Gen Xers – particularly when they view coworkers as friends.
• 76% of Boomers intend to keep working and earning in retirement.

Personally, I connect more to Generation X than my age group, the Baby Boomers. Although I grew up mostly around adults and have been accused of being “wise beyond my years”, I have often been mistaken for being much younger than I am. A few reasons might be: my ex-husband is 8 years younger, I tend to date men in their 30’s as I have more in common with their energy and overall outlook on life, I have never had children, and my lifestyle is rather free. Ok, I must admit that I do feel my age on occasion (born in July, 1962): my right hip hurts in the morning, I don’t laugh at modern comedies (except films with Paul Rudd – hilarious!), and I grew up with parents who view being a hard worker as more important than being a good daughter – and this has had an impact on how I, too, have valued tenacity and hard work over all (typical Boomer traits).

In March 2010, I moved to New Orleans to “lighten up and feed my food and music addictions”. Didn’t know a soul. Not a one. Most people around my age were taken aback, and their eyebrows curved in disbelief. Many also told me they were envious of my freedom, and confided a secret wish to live as fluidly. When I suggested that life is truly filled with possibilities for all people of all ages, they (without exception) shook their heads and dismissed any ideas of reinventing their lives. I guess I kind of get it. Ok, not really. Truth is… I just can’t relate.

Currently, I am living in a huge 2-bedroom flat with a 24 year old flatmate who has a Mom younger than me. We don’t have a dishwasher or a garbage disposal. The carpets are musty, there are some cracks in the walls of this 160 year old building, and the rent is very low considering we live in the best neighborhood in the city. When she first told her young friends about me, they didn’t get it. Then they met me, and I have been treated as just another friend ever since. I like that. My roommate is a working actor and creates cash flow as a server at a local sushi restaurant. To create extra cash flow myself, she helped get me a great McJob 3x a week where she works, delivering sushi to genteel rich people in Uptown. We hang out, party together, talk about “sex and drugs and rock and roll” (we’re both RUSH fans). We also laugh at the same jokes told on the Daily Show and the Colbert Report on Comedy Central (Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert are two individuals who have successfully contributed to helping close the Generation Gap. Thank you, gentlemen).

There are, of course, moments when I do feel the age difference between my roommate and myself. I buy extra things for the house that she doesn’t care about, I do the dishes more often, and I have less house guests. Other than that, we are very much the same. Think about it: for the first time in human history, there are five generations of people living and working together like never before.

Social media, the internet, technology, and the fact that people around my age grew up with a Just-Say-Yes-Live-And-Let-Live attitude about life carried over from the hippies before us… all contribute to the Generation Gap closing. During a typical month, I will have lunch with my 30 year old marketing friend who I easily worked with at the New Orleans School of Cooking, hang out and drink martini’s with my flatmate and her Gen Y friends, shoot the breeze at a jazz joint with my 61 year old retired musician friend from Detroit, and network with event-culinary-hospitality professionals ages 25 to 70. Yes, there are differences that are being written about in books such as the one mentioned above, however, the sameness of our experiences are starting to become more prevalent.

The NEO Generation, those who embrace change and progressive thought, is the new buzz word in sociological circles. NEOs understand the need to change, to go with the 2011 flow (life during the Great Recession), and to not only accept rapid change but to accept it with exhilaration. If this is the trend towards creating more connections between the ages, then perhaps there is hope after all. NEOs are forming bonds that defy age or age-ism, and this is inspiring. During the Rally to Restore Sanity in Washington DC last October, my Boomer sister (born in May, 1957) and I connected to ALL shapes, colors, and ages. It was a truly diverse crowd, filled with a plethora of NEOs. Wonderful.

One of the only times I truly felt the Generation Gap in my professional life was when I managed a busy Starbucks in San Francisco for a year. At age 45, I was the oldest Store Manager in my district (and almost in the entire city of 75 stores), and the managers, supervisors, and baristas around me seemed to have a problem with my age (not the other way around). I did not get the usual dose of automatic respect I was used to receiving as a Manager due to my “mature age”, but instead was up against a lot of eye rolling because I was not “cool” enough. A very creepy working environment met me most mornings, and eventually, I gave up and left. Not a battle I wanted to pick. Starbucks has created an Age-ist Monster via hiring practices focused on youth. Of course they deny this, and unfortunately it’s true. Shame on them.

Ok, I must also admit there is one more Generation Gap moment that gets under my skin. It’s about texting: while driving, while eating at a fine restaurant, while having a conversation with someone else… texting to someone sitting next to you, texting just because it is too much effort to make eye contact and say hello (btw: im a regulr txtr). Every once in awhile my flatmate doesn’t say good morning, phone in hand and texting, and when it happens, I laugh out loud, make fun of her Generation Y behavior, and she gets it. She’s cool that way. Another thing I love about her age group – how fluid, easy-going, and connected they are. Something that many people I know could learn from.

It’s all about exchange… and change. I love the quote from Fight Club above (one of my ALL TIME favorite films) because it not only defines the essence of angst among Gen Xers, it speaks to us all. We humans seem to be experiencing the need to look at our depression, our unhealthy choices, our greed, and our discontent. We are at a spiritual abyss, indeed, and have a golden opportunity to live as if we understand two very important facts:

• …like it or not, we are ALL in this TOGETHER
• … CHANGE is the only constant.

Fellow NEOs unite!

For more information: http://www.VeloCityCoachingServices.com

Anniversaries of Survival: Katrina, Resilience & Heaven on Earth

“Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.” – Unknown

Someone, please pinch me already.

I know that tomorrow morning I may not have even a residue of gratitude I am experiencing at this moment, but someone has to write about the good stuff. The lighter side of life, for goodness sake. I am sick of only hearing about the dark, deep, greedy secrets and power gesturing of the so-called movers and shakers of the world. The top six percent of the world’s population controlling something like 80% of the wealth, who really, for the most part, don’t make anything. They just move money and intellectual property around. Huh? What about folks like me, who live in middle-class non-celebrity, moving metaphorical mountains and making some noise? The good kind. The kind of noise that resonates, and contributes something positive. Even if I am just another white chick transplant. Stackman, a local alto sax player I met at the Candlelight Lounge in the Treme, says that his people call us “culture vultures”. Took me awhile before the light went on. I laughed out loud. That’s a good one.

According to my friend Joe’s neighbor, Coach, an old local who told Joe with a shit-eating grin: I gotta say Joe, that maybe the best thang that evah happen to New Orleans is you white people movin on in aftah The Storm. The city has changed since then with the arrivals of, yes, all us white people. Joe, a retired white guy from Detroit, who moved here almost 2 years ago, lives in the infamous Seventh Ward just next to the Treme. Murders and crack houses and AWESOME musicians live there. Joe is one of them (musicians I mean, tenor sax to be exact – this guy can play!). I stayed in the Seventh Ward for 10 days before finding my flat here in the trees in Uptown. Two days before I arrived, a kid got murdered right in front of my flat. Four days after I left, my neighbor got shot twice in the leg. He said it was a drive by. Random. Probably a gang initiation shooting. People say these words very steadily. Very calmly. I just learned that the Times-Picayune used to print the homicide numbers and stats at the upper right hand corner of the front page. Right next to the weather forecast.

I am living in the Garden District of New Orleans. One block away it is dangerous, crack-pipe scary. Half a block in the other direction just at St Charles Avenue, it is tree-lined and expensive. Plantation sized houses with small perfect gardens, and old slave quarters out back turned into thousand-dollar-a-month studios with granite counter tops and stainless steel gas burning stoves. I walk and walk and walk around the streets. I meet people as I walk, talk to them for a long, long time. I never know what time it is. I meet dogs as I stroll slowly in “feels like” heat of 110, and they tell me all sorts of great stories about their happy lives here in this dog-friendly town. I want a dog. A Katrina Canine who is older and way cool.

It is said that people live outside here. I am starting to understand how connected that makes people feel as front-stoop conversations unite the unspoken knowing of hard times. And of celebrations. Always have a reason to celebrate something, people say. Cheers to that. Joe tells me that most people here are poor, so nobody really pays much attention to the recession anyway. Makes sense. If you got nothin, then nothin is just fine. As long as you can dance and celebrate and live in gratitude for what you got, everything’s gonna be alright. Hmm.

I just submitted a proposal to the company I am working at, a small business with a method to their madness. I am re-designing their entire business for the next year or more, starting with a retail space makeover, and a special event celebrating the fact that the company has survived thirty years of hurricanes, floods, two recessions, two heart attacks, and a divorce. And a partridge in a pear tree. They had been making plans to do their 25^th Anniversary party in August of 2005 when Katrina and Rita hit. They were lucky. Their building is on St Louis and Decatur down in the French Quarter where they got only 3 feet of water. But many of their staff didn’t return. And they are still here, now thriving and ready to grow. Indeed a reason to celebrate. Their story is in abundance here – sad and yet uplifting.

The lack of complaining here is humbling. Resilience is a word used by all who have witnessed the miracle called New Orleans Rising. Yes, Katrina and Rita are still felt almost five years later, but in many parts of town, their talons of mud and chaos are not even a whisper. I am in awe. I have much to learn from these traditional, loose-tongued, politically incorrect locals. It is a pity that Bill Maher called the hard-working people down here kinda clueless. I think Bill Maher, who I actually agree with most of the time, really got it wrong here. I would like him to come with me the next time I go out and see the BEST musicians play their hearts out for close to nothing. I am talking really great music, a good vibe. For only a dollar or two in the tip jar and a three-dollar beer, the dancing, sweating, swaying bar would lift him up to the magic that is New Orleans. I would also take him to La Crepe Nanou, a local French bistro with the best filet mignon on this planet… and the most casually elegant service. Might change his mind.

My friend Joe told me that either you get the magic or you don’t. I guess Mr Maher will never get it. Took me a few weeks, while working through some of the PTSD lingering from my first 10 days in the Seventh Ward. And then one day, standing on Prytania and Washington at the Lafayette Cemetary Number One, I saw fern moss growing out of a brick wall. The beauty and resilience of this plant, living on a wall built in 1833, shook me. The tree moss, the white brick, the moist air, the diffused-yellow light. The brass bands, the jazz trios, the upright base guy on Frenchman Street with the purple hat (I only saw him once), and my new friend Geb, a native-born New Orleanian, who plays his guitar like a second layer of skin, pulling tones out of his Fender, tight and loose at the same time – most guitarists don’t quite hit that balance… he rocks it. These are my moments of magic I would suppose.

Even with the murders, the mafia, the gangs, the drunken tourists, the pot holes, the crack heads, the corrupt bureaucrats, the NOPD, the hurricanes, the guns, the overt racists (black, white, and brown), the Spill, and even with the 14% sales and Louisiana tax on just about everything, I do think I have found my version of Heaven on Earth. Yep, I get it. I have finally exhaled. After almost seven years of living on the edge in North American hell, I have survived, too. Next thing you know I’ll be looking at condos and settling down.

I wonder when the SPCA opens in the morning?

THE MONEY CONVERSATION: Radicals, Tea-Partiers and Middle-Class Rage in America

“Empty pockets never held anyone back.

Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.” – Norman Vincent Peale

The last taboo subject on earth is money. Not incest, divorce, mental illness or addiction. Why is it that commerce and basic economics are still muttered by wise old men, either behind closed doors or blasted on CNN and FOX News? I think one of the answers to this question is cultural. In China and Japan, people will openly ask what you earn, how much you have. In Egypt they haggle over prices like a boxing match without gloves. And in Germany, the general population has a pretty solid grasp of basic math and money matters. They know that what you have is what you have, and spending needs to have a cap.

Here in the US where credit is king, and you are considered a solid citizen if you are in debt, the rest of the world looks on in disbelief. I spent much of my adult life in Asia and Europe, and when I returned in 2004, shock and dismay do not come close to what I saw: my friends in over their heads in the real estate sector, consumer debt out of control, and regulation all but a whisper in the back alleys of Congress. And because I was “off the books” due to living overseas for 17 years, and my perfect credit abroad was not considered valid, I actually had to lie (with the help of a kind bank manager) to get credit in America. She was appalled by the fact that I was fiscally being treated worse than my 18-year-old nephew, so we filled out paperwork stating that I was military personnel stationed in Germany, which was a loop-hole we found. This risky move paid off, as a year later I was able to start the process of Credit in America.

The depth of The Money Conversation is too much for a blog posting, however the rage that is building up needs to land. America needs to wake up, plain and simple, and DO something about greed, empty promises, the haves and have-nots, and allowing ignorance to become the norm. For the record, I am a realist-cynic at heart who has had to overcome many obstacles in life to become positive – a self-made business owner with a global background – but there seems to be an opportunity right now to start the Money Revolution. I am not a violent person at heart, but after seeing Scorsese’s Shutter Island yesterday, I wonder. What am I capable of, if this trend towards hellish greed on the planet continues? So I look for answers, outlets and solutions. At the very least, this may help me sleep better at night, since the nightmares are increasing.

There seem to be three areas of focus in the media, living rooms, and hearts and minds of citizens: radicals, tea-baggers, and middle-class rage. Personally and professionally I am surprised that I can relate to all three. For the first time in our history, The Money Conversation might be the glue that creates forward momentum, and could ignite the public outrage that needs to happen.

Ariana Huffington has spearheaded a group called Move Your Money, and this movement has caught on rapidly (within a year, 9% have shifted their money from the big four to community-owned banks, for example, and their rating system to also hold community banks accountable is rather useful). Their idea is to create awareness about consumer power, supporting the local economies, and holding Wall Street and the Gang accountable for one of the most heinous crimes of the century. I am a radical at heart but a social libertarian in deed (my business is for-profit), and I must admit that I have fantasies of sending stink bombs to all who created and are still creating a gag order on regulation, credit card greed, financial lobbying, and the futility-apathy factor of the American people. They are not dividing and conquering us with a Machiavellian Method – instead, their activities are possibly uniting us. The irony is palpable.

Newt Gingrich supports what are now called Tea Party Protests, which were formed in 2009 to say no to government tax and spending policies. The mainstream media uses the term “tea-baggers” to describe the conservative anti-tax movement. Although I am not a fan of this movement’s foundation (nor most of its supporters), as it seems to be based on seriously twisted statistics, I find myself drawn to attending the Washington DC rallies against the policies of the current administration in order to watch the Tea Baggers’ forward momentum and outrage in general. I applaud them in their resolve to not talk about doing something, but rather do something and then talk about it. What I want to say here is: as misplaced and dangerous at this movement is, I can relate to their outrage. I just wish more insight and intelligence were a part of it.

Joe Middle-Class sits at his dining room table, eats canned vegetables ten for a dollar, and wonders what is going to happen next. At the pit of his stomach is pain, stress and the beginning phase of an ulcer as he tries to keep or find a job, keep divorce at arm’s length (divorce rates for people in transition are even higher than the outrageous 54% national average), and make sense out of Information Overload. His bank account is almost dry, his oldest daughter can’t afford a quality education, and every time he watches TV or listens to the radio, his gut knows that he is being lied to. His inner rage occasionally seeps out over a beer with his buddies, and he is right now at a crossroads: one fork in the road is marked Status Quo Do Nothing, and the other fork reads Wake Up Do Something.

At my company, whenever we begin a new Client, we give preparation homework before session one. It is a simple yet complex list of six questions to get an overview of their personal and professional lives. Question number two is: What is the bottom line monetary number to live your current life? In the years we have been in business, not one Client has answered this question the first time out accurately. After filtering through resistance, entitlement, ignorance, or shame, we come to their real-time number. Then, we have The Money Conversation to find out where they are now, where they want to be, and what steps they need to take to get there. But lately, as their fear and rage sit tangibly under the surface, they leave this question blank. Like the months, weeks, and days before revolutions, they sense something profound about to happen. The question is: will it be peaceful, slow and steady… or violent, rapid and out of control? And in the worst case scenario, will absolutely nothing happen?

I would like to see a mixture of  peaceful and radical change. I would like to see my Clients exchange their toxic, unstable, and short-term relationship to money for a more sane, long-term, and intelligent one. Move your money, engage in consumer power, look at your own greed, contribute to your local economies and commerce, STOP letting your money create wealth for the wrong people, deal with your fears, and have The Money Conversation with your friends, families, colleagues, politicians, local advocates, and leaders. But first, have The Money Conversation with yourself. Turn talk into action, go out and have dinner at a local restaurant (and tip well for goodness sake), invest in your future, and seriously think about how inaction only contributes to the problem. The revolution is about to begin: what will be your part, what will be your legacy?

Twenty Suggestions for Joining the Money Revolution:

1. Post your fees and prices for ALL products and services on your website. Set a trend in your industry. Be transparent.
2. Haggle over prices when you buy a car and wear the salespeople down.
3. Buy a Ford. Drink Bigby Coffee. Eat Trader Joes products. Shop at Borders Books.
4. Tithe 5% and give 5% to a local foundation or better yet, a start up business which does not qualify for a loan or grant because they are for profit. (I sense God will understand.)
5. Don’t always have enough money to fix a problem, and never have enough money to prevent one.
6. Tell a restaurant owner that you think the prices are too high for the quality and quantity you get.
7. Announce to your network about a great local business and explain why you give them your money.
8. Do the same for a great bank or financial institution.
9. Change your phone service to T Mobile and give AT & T and Verizon actual competition.
10. Do the same for a local cafe vs Starbucks, a local store vs Walmart, even Linux or Apple vs Microsoft.
11. Use Google not Bing. Use gmail not yahoo. Use Kaspersky not Norton or McAfee. Stop getting seduced by people like Bill Gates.
12. Send your local government, private, and bank agencies and offices a PLAN for investing differently in your community. (I just sent the local MEDC a 13 page case study, well researched with a tangible solution and plan for lending micro loans to businesses in the services and retail sector. It is now sitting on 3 people’s desks and I am on it, checking in at regular intervals.)
13. Stop allowing credit card payments on your website.
14. Stop using credit cards.
15. If you have maxed out your credit cards, do NOT let others who did not do this pay for your lack of repayment. Find a way to pay it back. Avoid at all cost credit card consolidation. Take responsibility.
16. Pay your bills on time. Take care of your finances. Get support and advice.
17. Downsize if you need to, invest in your future, community, and local businesses if you can. Do this today.
18. Engage in trade agreements, service exchanges, and barters.
19. Give money to charity, Haiti, the Red Cross, local food banks, local literacy programs.
20. Talk to a conservative if you are a liberal about money. Talk to a liberal if you are a conservative about money. You both might learn something, and may even find common ground.

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